It may seem like I’m a sarcastic asshole 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic asshole 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings.
"you’re too old to go trick or treating"
when you catch up on a tv show and run out of episodes to watch and feel empty and lost inside
Who the fuck named the Sahara Desert anyway
Sahara is just the Arabic word for “deserts”
You fucking named it the Desert Desert
way to fucking go
can we just stay in bed, fuck and cuddle and kiss for like 2 weeks